Per Pens Universe:
10. The NHL: You went to the KHL for some big money, so I don’t blame you there. But I’ve read your interviews, you still want to play in the NHL, its your league. You’re definitely going to use the Olympics to show the world you still can play. Oh, and by the way, you won the scoring title 5 times in the NHL, all as a Penguin I might add
9. Edmonton Oilers: You have seen their record this year haven’t you? At this point are you in it for the money or the glory? When’s the last time you raised the Cup? 18 years ago? Just saying…
8. Winger: Not Winger. The Pens need a top 6 winger. I don’t see why this wouldn’t work. I dream of what a line consisting of Geno, Staal and yourself would look like.
7. Russia: Its just too cold there. Not as cold as the D, but cold enough to make Pittsburgh look warm. And I hear the cost of living is fairly reasonable and the housing market fairly stable. Sid might move out of Mario’s this summer too, there’s a vacant room.
6. Console Energy Center: The first year in the newest and brightest arena in the league filled with anticipation and wonder. What it would be like to have one of the greatest historical figures in all of Penguins hockey grace the ice for 1, maybe 2 years.
5. Crosby and Malkin: Two of the best reasons a hockey player could ever have. World Domination. You don’t really need to be the captain anymore, do you? Sid will do that for you. You’ve skated along side some of the greatest players, if not one of the best players ever to lace up. A chance to take your skill and experience and mesh it with two of the best young players in this league would be supernatural, nay, majestic.
4. Retire a Penguin: …and they retire your number. Penguin fans see 2 numbers hanging up there and constantly debate whether number 68 should be up there too. If I had it my way, you know it would be. Don’t you want to see the number you wear in honor of the Prague Spring rebellion and your grandfather hung in there too? I think you do…
3. Pittsburgh Redemption: You need to put this whole ‘dying alive’ thing behind you, we will. Pens fans love you. They see your name hanging high in the rafters night after night and think to themselves, what if? To see you reunite with the fans that loved you more than any city or country would be the ultimate class act.
2. Magical Mullet: I’m not 100% on this but I’m pretty sure the last time you sported a championship mullet was your days with Pittsburgh. I’ve seen the pictures of you now Jags, you’re growing it back. Is that because you have some future plans to go back to your roots?
1. Mario Lemieux: Self-explanatory, though I’ll say this: You last year you owe your entire career to Mario and would play under him for the league minimum and penguin fans (particularly myself) started to get giddy. We didn’t know you felt this way, at least I didn’t. A reunion like this would be…wow….You have his number, right?